Has Our Local System Made us seek a Prince Charming?

Has our local administrative and cultural system made us look out for a prince charming? Someone who we can depend on? Someone who has the privilege of the 'other sex', an upper hand in a patriarchal society?

Growing up as a Saudi female, the medium of the local society gave very limited power and capabilities. We, the females, needed to depend on someone, and sometimes complete strangers, to do the work for us.

What if prince charming is more about practicality and image than romance?

Reflecting on the local system, a woman could never go out and get things done. Not only did the system not allow it, as females we didn't have access; we couldn't follow up on papers in public quarters, hence, we hire a male whose job literally revolves around getting the papers through the system, on our behalf. The need for a guardian's permission is in so many aspects of life that the female sex had to depend on fathers, brothers, and sons, for so long since a young age, that they ended up furthermore investing in the image of a prince charming. Someone who could do the work for them and lift the heavy weight off.

What if the Saudi view on prince charming was never on romance or equal partnership or even building a life together? What if it was all based on the administrative system of a country, where women's only hope depended on a man -that doesn't even exist-?

Growing up as the dependent sex, rather than the independent one. Such social wiring affects our internal and personal perception on ourselves. Dependency is a non-changing element in this society, that many have accepted, and as we adjusted to out bitter reality, we assimilated the universal "prince charming" theory, to our local standards. Someone who brings in the bread, and puts a roof over our head, the hard-worker and classic image of masculinity, or rather how masculinity is perceived.

Historically, the marriage institution was built on completely different grounds than what it is today, focusing on satisfying economical factors and cultural expectations. The separated social spheres, of independent men, known as workers and financial providers, while woman as, dependent emotional, especially in working-class society. Yet by time, wives became homemakers rather than housekeepers; where a female's job isn't limited to tasks around the house, but also an emotional provider. Change happened when marriage treated the wife as more than just a reproductive system and the man more than just a financial provider. Such change reflects the uplift that happened in the hierarchy of needs proposed by Maslow. The hierarchy of needs starts off with bottom end needs, that are crucial for our survival. Composed of physical needs such as; food and water, and safety needs; as security. Yet, as marriage evolved, so did the needs of the couple within it, rising up to psychological needs, such emotional bond, and respect. These changes reflect the true nature of growth in the marriage institution moving past the idea that women are mere economical players and catalysts in the reproduction system of the society we live in.

For so long, we held the matrimonial institution on the belief of a dependent relationship rather than a true partnership. We were never capable on our won, we were never enough to serve ourselves...but now, everything is shifting from under our feet, and we need to re-establish our views on prince charming. The Neo-Saudi society had an uplift and change of persona of 180 degrees, since the launch of the 2030 vision.

Yet the local females are still adjusting, to the reality of the matter, to a world where we don't need to look for prince charming, yet if we ever do, it will come out of a place of "wanting to" rather than "needing to".

---

*Special thanks to my psychologist-to-be best-friend @najwahafiz

References

- Finkel, E. (2017) The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work. Dutton, Penguin Public House.

- Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370-96. Maslow, A. H. (1954)